Singleton Shenanigans

One day, you’ll sit in the corner of your room with a plate of food cooked out of boredom and wonder why finding love is so hard. It’s not that there aren’t single people out there that you could spend forever with – on paper, at least – it’s just that they have mastered the art of invisibility. You’ll sigh, shake your head, and scream, “what a life!”

You will look at your phone hoping someone dropped a text message, possibly something cheeky or romantically intriguing. But your phone in all its sleek and silent glory, does not bleep-bleep even a smidge. Frustrated, you’d throw it aside and continue with your food.

Your friends, meanwhile, are so entangled with their significant others, they rarely even check on you. And when they do, it’s often to share how they tripped over their partner’s sneakers laid out in the dark or how they’ve been tortured with three-hour long romantic comedies where everything ends in a wedding!

Then there are those dating apps – you know, the ones that promise a soul mate with a mere swipe left or right. You swipe so much you start wondering if you’re in a dating app or a trendy Tai Chi class. “Swipe left, swipe left, and swipe left again… that’s it, feel the burn…” Who knew you could get a full-blown workout session while searching for eternal love?

Tidy little love advice-givers ever so optimistically chime in, “Love is just around the corner!”. It should really be amusing to learn what corner they’re referring to.

And let’s not forget the endless stream of advice from well-intentioned relatives. Aunt Tola who is in her third husband’s house recommends joining the Church choir while Big mummy suggests seeking divine intervention, it might be your spiritual husband is the reason you’re still single. You think about taking their advice, “Can’t be that hard to find love in the house of God, can it?”

Then there is meditation! Ah, the boundless murky realms of enlightenment! But all you ended up finding was the realization that your foot can indeed fall asleep. Did you say enlightenment? Pfft, more like enLIGHTning pain when pins and needles attack.

Despite these trials and tribulations, you continue your quest with hope and a whole lot of resilience. You wonder if there is an instruction manual somewhere titled, “Finding love: Navigating the Bermuda Triangle of Emotions for Dummies”?

But until the day you find this helpful manual or successfully complete your Tai Chi dating routine, sit back, enjoy your boredom-cuisine, and remember that every downside has an upside. Like, the more you splurge on ‘self-love’ pizza, the more chances you have of completing the ‘buy seven, get the eighth free’ deal at your favourite pizza joint.

While finding love might currently seem as elusive as capturing a unicorn eating a rainbow spaghetti, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It could be out there dressed as a pizza delivery guy, to sweep you off your feet.

So, here‘s to hoping that tomorrow, your phone might finally sing something besides ‘bleep-bleep’, and who knows? Your Knight might just come out of their hiding too. In the meantime, happy cooking, and bon appetit!